Say it like is: let others know what matters to you most
"Be very specific about what you want in a relationship to be successful," says Spira. Be honest with yourself about what you are looking for. Whether it's a long-term relationship or casual dating, make sure that's clear in your profile. Being upfront will interest other daters who have the same goals.
Wygant says he sees lots of profiles that list their wants. However, he warns that a simple list does not express "what YOU will bring to the relationship." A want list leaves daters looking like takers rather than givers. If your ideal mate must have a charming personality, be very affectionate and have long hair you may put off potential matches who are too modest to consider themselves charming, or who have a beautiful head of shoulder-length hair. Negative statements about your wants are even more off-putting. For example, one 43-year-old profiler wrote, "no silly, timid, going-on-16 (years old) attitudes." This comment says more about the writer than it does about his potential matches.
For all gold diggers (male or female), profiles are not a place to outline financial requirements. Wygant suggests not writing, "I'm looking for a man who will spoil me, buy me great things, and take me on great trips." He recommends a more subtle approach (if at all) such as, "I like the finer things in life."
Children can be a deal breaker for many potential couples. Other than stating your preference, don't dwell on babies too much. It gives the impression you are more interested in reproducing than in building a relationship.
Daters with children have to walk a fine line between being responsible parents and sexually attractive daters. Experts and law enforcement agents say it's good to be proud of your children, but don't post their pictures with your profile. Also, proud parents on dates must refrain from talking about their kids' accomplishments instead of their own.
Bad Style
- If you find yourself in your late 20s, looking for a stable relationship, email me.
- I am looking for a girl in my life and I will modify my wants and needs in order to bring you happiness.
- Email me if you enjoy spending time alone, but sometimes the need for people overwhelms you.
- I have a fair amount of free time, so drop me a wink or email.
Good Style
- If you like the Barbie-style athletic look, you won't find it here. I am very curvy...more to work with!
- Email me if you've ever wanted a swing dance partner. I offer fun dance lessons too.
- Message me if you love the outdoors, have an outgoing personality and a sense of adventure, or any other reason you want! You may not want to message me if you are extremely shy, take an hour to get ready just to go to the grocery store, or define who you are as a person by how "busy" you are.
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