Previous   |   Page:    1  2   |   Next

Print   |   Email   |   Share Facebook Twitter MySpace Digg Reddit Google Yahoo StumbleUpon

The most important profile section: the self summary

Often titled "About Me" this is the first written section in most profiles. We suggest you think like an author would: you have one paragraph to hook--and hold--the reader. If your first few sentences don't leap off the page, rewrite them until they do. E.B. White wrote six lead paragraphs for what became the famous children's classic, "Charlotte's Web." The one he chose makes it almost impossible for the reader to close the book.

Dave M., creator of Insider Internet Dating, a DVD about how best to write an online dating profile, believes that a man who creates some mystery about himself in a profile will automatically generate intrigue. Intrigue, in turn, leads to interest and interest leads to attraction, he says. Two men who have taken such teachings to heart, included the following passages in their profiles: "I've recently made a personal move which should open up interesting possibilities. Once we've known each other awhile I might bore you with the details" and "I care more about spending unhurried time tempting raw materials into becoming art than my decadent dotcom-style 9-5." A third is even more direct, "You'll have to work a little harder than reading a couple hundred words to get to know me. A good way in though is to tell me a funny/shocking/happily graphic tale and see whether you can spark my interest. And, of course, I'll tell you one in return." Who wouldn't be tempted to write?

Painting an honest picture of yourself with words can be critical if you're looking for a life partner rather than a hookup or short-term dating. This example, written by a woman, sets the scene nicely: "There's also a silly side to me--that loves a good snowball fight or a game of tag around the dining room table; a side that is non-existent at work, but so important away from it. I don't think I really knew what intimacy was till I discovered the joys of being chased around the house and collapsing in a ball of laughter on the couch." Similarly, this self-admitted former geek reveals a lot about himself in the following passage without coming off as needy: "In college I was a guy wandering around the university library stacks at 10:30 pm on a Friday night reading Hegel, Wittgenstein, studying organic chemistry...or a hundred-year-old music score, looking for the crucial bit of information that would somehow bind me to the rest of humanity...I was a geek for knowledge, a sponge, and looking back though I didn't get the chicks, I got a lot out of it.

In contrast, dull, overused phrases that make up most people's profiles--"easy going," "laid back," "love to laugh" get your profile filed in the "no thanks" zone almost instantly. After all, there are literally as much as 18 million registered users on a top online dating site. There's no advantage to sounding just like everybody else.

Negative talk is also a major turnoff. You're a great date, so tell people about your strengths and downplay your shortcomings. Tell a story about yourself that makes you stand out.

Previous   |   Page:    1  2   |   Next

Print   |   Email   |   Share Facebook Twitter MySpace Digg Reddit Google Yahoo StumbleUpon