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Sex at 70?
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The Hottest: Dating and Relationships more...
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Ali de Varona Welcome to Hot Topics In 2007, a dying relationship finally went kaput and I decided that instead of dedicating more time to asking him for answers he'd never give me (answers I already knew), I'd start a forum where men and women could ask each other anything they wanted about dating, sex, and relationships. I called it, "What is He/She Thinking?" This wouldn't be any old forum and the rules would be simple: 1) You can ask anything you want up to x-rated as long as it's phrased tastefully and respectfully, 2) You must fight the urge to give polite "canned" answers, and 3) You must not trash other members (especially of the opposite sex). It was not for the easily offended or the politically correct, and it attracted intelligent, open-minded folks who were curious to hear what others had to say on different topics. "What is He/She Thinking?" became a place where people could get out of their own heads (where fears and worries seem bigger and scarier); the one place with no "gurus" and no "experts" (since no person can claim to know what goes on inside everyone's minds). I figured we've been messed with enough by the gurus and experts since birth. In trying to live up to all their expectations we've managed to feel most inadequate and insecure. There are just too many mixed messages and too many cooks in the soup with their interpretations influencing our own. After a rough start and some bumps along the way, "What is He/She Thinking?" caught on. Membership soared and we began holding weekly "black bag" workshops--at which attendees drop anonymous questions into a black velvet bag. Depending on the size of the group, we break into subgroups, each of which discusses as many questions as possible. As I'd hoped, people came with real questions they wanted answers to. They responded honestly and listened to each other's points of view. Now, a year and a half later, "What is He/She Thinking?" has held 100 black bag events in addition to recording a few podcasts. Recently, "What is He/She Thinking?" caught the attention of Nico Krohn, Couch22's managing editor. She liked the concept so much she asked me to do my thing on Couch22's "Hot Topics" section. She suggested I also run a series of webinars at which people from across the country would be able to participate in regular discussions about dating, sex and relationships--observing the same rules as during forum discussions. Although the format would be a bit different, the webinars would have many of the same elements as the "What is He/She Thinking?" black bag events. On a more personal note, I want to let you know that whatever I say on Hot Topics is my personal opinion. It's not intended as either professional or informal advice (I don't do "gurus" or "experts," membah?). When I jump in with my two cents it's based on life experience, not theory--and my life experience is varied. Not much shocks, surprises, or offends me. I may tolerate someone's right to do what they do (with the exception of abuse or racism), but it does not mean I am endorsing their actions. I invite you to jump into Hot Topics and I'm looking forward to bringing you my webinar. Ali de Varona
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